Have you finally orgasmed yet?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He did a backflip because drugs
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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