no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
