You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
im six kinds of drunk right now
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize