So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
