I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
