ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
