the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
