I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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