Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
