And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
