i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
how does that bad decision feel?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
