none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
