Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
it was like eating out sand paper
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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