This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
