He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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