Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize