have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
