Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
