I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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