omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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