Welp...herpes.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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