in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
