I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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