Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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