my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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