I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Define "chronic" masturbator.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize
