woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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