you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
