wakey wakey hands off snakey
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
fuck your aforementioned shoe
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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