Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
No subtext here. People are naked.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
