I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize