I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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