The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
