I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
