You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
