I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
