I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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