I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Everyone says I win the strip club
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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