My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
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