on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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