Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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