i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
