If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
