Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
