found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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