you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
