we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
