i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Come share oat with me in your robe
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
