I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
