walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
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