I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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