Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
tell me about the eggs
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