peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Randomize
