I swear she didn't look like that last week.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
