Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
