Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
