You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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