He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
But break dance skills will only take you so far
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
