Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
