omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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