I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
