used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
