what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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