Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
