Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
