New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize