After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
